- Barrister charged with contempt of court after making excessive number of lamppost related jokes during trail.
- Police arrest squirrel under the Terrorism Act following standoff in school playground.
- Operation Yuletree releases more detailed description of criminal dressed as Santa Claus after 10,000+ suspected sightings.
- Woman reveals that she believed Blackheath park bench stranger to be a nutter.
Also revealed: We start work on our next bestselling novel 'Croquet in Baghdad'...